Tuesday, November 18, 2008

2 comments Woody Paiges Makes Bad Puns

I have never really liked the way the NFL did overtime and expressed this displeasure in a post here. Gene W of ESPN hated the way homefield advantage was decided for the World Series and I repeatedly attempted to point out games in the NFL were decided by a coin flip, which is stupid and much worse than using the All Star Game to decide who had homefield advantage in the World Series. Gregg Doyel helped pick up this fight for me today, though it is not a great article. Doyel and I are on the same side on this issue. That scares me.

Woody Paige actually has a great argument he could make in wondering why the Rockies are selling off half of their team. I hate it when teams sell away good players to save money, so I am naturally on his side on this one. He of course butchers it with bad puns and silly logic.

He calls the Holliday trade the "Sleaziana Purchase" despite the fact neither party actually purchased anything and it was not a real sleazy trade, just not a great one from the Rockies point of view.

Then, I read the article's headline: "O'Dowd applauds Holliday deal." Dealin' Dan O'Dowd apparently had just torn his rotator cuff while patting himself on the back

Even if it was a shitty deal is any GM in the world going to say, "man that was a shitty trade we just made, I am surprised I still have a job?" I think not. It's like when a NFL coach drafts a player no one knew that team was interested in and the team acts as if that is the player they had wanted all along.

"Sure, we were hoping all the defensive tackles would be taken at that point, we actually wanted to draft a punter in the first round and he just fell in our lap."

for the trade involving Matt Holliday and three fellows several hundred thousand of you (and I) had never heard of.

Woody Paige has never heard of Huston Street? If this is serious, then this is worse than Donovan McNabb not knowing there was OT in football. How can you cover sports and not know who popular players are, even if they are not popular players for the team you cover? Woody Paige has even talked about how Brian Fuentes was going to not get re-signed and the Rockies need a closer AND mentioned the Oakland A's as a possible trade partner for the Rockies with Holliday. Apparently Woody just picked a random team he thought the Rockies should trade with and did not check out the roster to see who the Rockies could use in return.

I digress. If you haven't heard of Huston Street, you should have heard of Carlos Gonzalez and Greg Smith simply because they were a part of that huge Dan Haren deal last year. You have to pay attention to sports if you are going to cover them. It's part of the job requirement...I would hope.

Too bad Dealin' Dan wasn't the general manager of the Red Sox in 1920 — "O'Dowd applauds Ruth deal"; or general manager of France in 1803 — "O'Dowd likes sale of 828,800 square miles to U.S."

France does not have a General Manager. They are a country.

In the Rockies' home opener April 10 against the world champions, the starting lineup could be:

Pitcher Greg Smith, catcher Chris Iannetta, first baseman Todd Helton, second baseman Clint Barmes, shortstop Troy Tulowitzki, third baseman Ian Stewart, left fielder Seth Smith, center fielder Ryan Spilborghs, right fielder Brad Hawpe. I have no idea, and neither do the Rockies, who will bat leadoff, or third, or fourth, or whatever.

I have a good feeling Jeff Francis will be starting the home opener, unless the Rockies pick up a better pitcher, and even then it will not be Greg Smith starting. Most teams in November have no idea who is going to bat at what spot in the lineup and who is going to play at any position in the field. I think November is a bit early to ask a GM or manager to set their lineup card. My favorite team would currently have a two man rotation if the season started today. Don't get your panties in a wad Woody.

Woody has expressed enthusiasm for Seth Smith in the past here. Check out this link where Woody says the Rockies should trade Matt Holliday because the Rockies season is over and they should also package Garrett Atkins or Brad Hawpe with him. Oh yeah, that's right Woody Paige has completely contradicting himself and is guilty of hypocrisy. Hang him.

Not only is Woody trying to tear the front office of the Rockies a new asshole, he is tearing them a new asshole for doing exactly what he wanted them to do. Is there no one at the Denver Post who remembers these things so the writer can be informed when he is contradicting himself? Like an editor person or a stalker of some type? I think that is really why these old time writers don't like the Internet, because all of the articles they have ever posted are out there to read and they can't write both sides of the story anymore. Writers hate it when they have to take a position and stick to it...except Woody. He is perfectly willing to write an article saying trade Matt Holliday and then 4 months later write an article saying it would be a mistake to trade Holliday.

Pause to consider Willy Taveras, who is among the next bunch the Rockies will shout to: "Don't let the door hit your rear on the way out."

Willy Taveras leaving the team would be a good thing. He is not good.

I didn't care much for The Say-K Kid, but he had a reasonable complaint. Taveras didn't start 12 of the team's final 19 games. His contract called for bonuses of $50,000 for 500, 550 and 600 at-bats. He ended up with 538. Hurdle (or someone in the front office) cost Taveras and saved the Rockies $50,000.

Why would any team willing allow Willy Taveras to get more at bats so he gets paid more money to get out? If Taveras was an OBP machine, then he would have a legitimate gripe.

Pause to consider that they have since jettisoned Kip Wells ($3.1 million), Mark Redman ($1 mil), Matt Herges ($2 mil), Adam Melhuse ($750,000), Scott Podsednik ($750,000), Glendon Rusch ($850,000) and Livan Hernandez (a small portion of $5 million). And closer Brian Fuentes ($5 million) filed for free agency.

Let's look at the Rockies real problem. The only ones on this list who should be brought back are Brian Fuentes and no one else.

The Rockies are thinking about bringing back Rusch and Podsednik, and, on Thursday, O'Dowd said they could offer Fuentes arbitration (as if he would ever consent).

Why do they want Rusch and Podsednik back? Maybe they are going to be cheap I guess.

Woody's point is the Rockies are trying to save money and he thinks this is the wrong way to go. He wants to trade Holliday or any other player for an expensive player in return, which makes neither logical nor baseball sense.

Of the nine potential opening-day starters, only Helton ($16.6 mil) and Hawpe ($5.5 mil) will be earning more than $1 million.

Todd Helton. Everyone's favorite ex-football player first baseman. Maybe the reason the Rockies don't want to resign/sign any players for massive amounts of money is because it has never really worked out for them in the past. Whether it was Mike Hampton, Denny Neagle, or Todd Helton, the Rockies have ended up paying a lot for a little production. Yes, I know Helton is still a decent ball player but he is still getting paid almost $17 million to be decent. I can't blame the Rockies for being a little gun shy on handing out $100 million dollar contracts.

So, it's quite possible the Rockies will have saved and made more than $50 million in the past year, plus Taveras' $50,000 at-bat bonus.

How cute. "Plus Taveras' $50,000 at-bat bonus." That is nothing compared to $50 million dollars! Baseball teams like to make money, that is why they are in the business they are in after all, not just to entertain, but to also make money.

Pause to consider why, then, do the Rockies say they won't enter the free-agent bidding and why they can't afford to sign a star starting pitcher?

Because as you spent the last 500 words saying, the Rockies are trying to save money and don't have a very good team at this point. It would be absolutely pointless to break the bank to sign a pitcher when the team is not good enough to win. Now if the Rockies plan on signing a couple more free agents to improve the team, it may be worth it to sign an expensive pitcher.

How does Woody even ask this question after writing the past paragraphs? Signing CC Sabathia or Ben Sheets would be like taking a shit on a paper plate, then putting a cherry on top. Plus, it is not a video game, you can't just put them on your team, you would have to convince them they could succeed in Colorado. Good luck with that.

The Rockies should spend a few bucks to buy an "Applause" sign. That's the only way Coloradans will put both hands together next season.

He gets paid to write like this. He's the Sesame Street of journalism. I am going to write a whole article on what I think my favorite baseball team should do and then four months later write an article contradicting everything I said prior, except not mentioning it. Then maybe I would get hired at a major paper.

2 comments:

Fred Trigger said...

Even if it was a shitty deal is any GM in the world going to say, "man that was a shitty trade we just made, I am surprised I still have a job?"


Jim Bowden, maybe? Guy who Neal Huntington replaced? Actually, I could really see Bowden getting liquored up and saying something like that. Although, he did make what looks to be a decent trade with the marlins.

Bengoodfella said...

Actually John Schuerholz of the Braves kind of said it when they traded Kevin Millwood for Johnny Estrada a few years back. I think Bowden actually would say he made a bad trade...I, like you, do like the Marlins trade he made though. Maybe he is changing his ways!