Friday, March 6, 2009

9 comments Bill Simmons: Mailing It In For Us Again

I traditionally have loved Bill Simmons mailbags and this week is no exception. I love the "real" emails that Bill gets and his responses that make you feel like you have read them 100 times before. It's all just so familiar and yet interesting to read...and mock.

Before I begin, I know that I will call Bill a hypocrite or a moron at some point, and I do realize I am a moron as well. I also realize that if I threaten to injure myself in any fashion as a joke then that is a joke Bill has used before and I am completely copying him. I know some random anonymous Bill Simmons mega fan will tell this to me and I am supposed to look in the mirror and realize I will never be as good as Bill Simmons. The problem is that there are tons of Bill Simmons uber-fans in the world and everything anyone writes or does reminds them of Bill Simmons, not because it is similar, but because these people are so fucking infatuated with Simmons and how he writes they compare everything to him. I actually don't dislike Bill Simmons as a writer and he has written some good stuff, even recently, but the Simmons Clones are what really drive me crazy, those that compare everything anyone writes to what he does...and those are the ones that write into his mailbag and get posted.

Q: I am a broke college student who recently spent two weeks of beer money for a bleacher ticket for A-Rod's first Fenway game just so I could chant "A-Roid" with everyone else. Now they're saying he could be out for two to four months, and I won't be living here when he finally comes to Boston. Can you please rank this on the Levels of Losing for me?-- Sean P., Boston

"Hi Bill, I am fucking loser who copies everything you do and say. I went to your book signing a few years ago and you signed my book, then I slept with it every night. My new girlfriend who I met here in college, where I do crazy things I have repeatedly emailed you about, doesn't like the book because she is not a Red Sox fan since 2004 like me and she threw my book away. You should have seen my Manning Face when that happened. I put on Run DMC, who is on the Mount Rushmore of Rappers, and then watched the All Star H-O-R-S-E Contest that you advocated and slowly tried to suffocate myself with a Wes Welker jersey, but failed. Please justify my existence by responding to me in email form about where this would be on your completely and totally made up Levels of Losing." -- Peter H., Boston

(I am in a very foul mood today and I really hope this post doesn't go from funny angry to just obviously demented fury. We will see. This is what arguing on the merits of Tyler Brayton does to you, where you are trying to make it clear you refuse to accept mediocrity for your favorite NFL football team and you think that he is not an NFL caliber defensive end...and no one agrees with you. I just want to get this out of the way because I have a feeling I am going to get a hater or two commenting on this post.)

Bill answered 42 questions. Nearly every single question referenced something Bill Simmons made (Levels of Losing), something Bill Simmons said (Mike Dunleavy sucks), or something Bill Simmons wrote (the Dooze column). Basically his mailbags are just dedications to him and his ideas...not exactly the fertile ground of creating questioning, which is why I call those who write them Simmons Clones.

SG: The levels of losing? Can't you see the big picture here? We haven't seen the Karma Police work this quickly since Swayze's sleazy buddy got impaled on the broken glass in "Ghost."

Haha...that was a 1990 chick flick. Perfect analogy for this situation AND it is from pop culture, which is something we can all relate to. Unfortunately it is the movie "Ghost," which from the last time I checked (just now) is a complete and utter girl movie that guys should not admit to liking. Bill's Man-Card has been temporarily revoked.

Q: This is a little bit closely related to your holiday gifts column only with a spin: How about sponsoring Mike Dunleavy's page on basketball-reference.com and making a sarcastic comment about him on it? Hey, its only 10 bucks.-- Bilal, Boston

Bill did this and it is not funny, but I actually like this idea as a whole. Thank you fake reader from Boston.

Q: Too bad you decided not to have break-up sex with the Boston Bruins this year, isn't it? It's like an ex-girlfriend who switched to contacts from glasses, let her hair grow out and discovered aerobics. Now she's the hot girl at the bar.-- Alex, D.C.

Oh yes, the one great example of Bill bandwagon jumping. The Boston Bruins, who he wrote several articles about in the past claiming he no longer could cheer for them, then they got good again and he is back on the bandwagon. Bill, what say you?

SG: Only I'm still taking medication for the VD she gave me. I'll be back for the playoffs. I always get sucked back in for the playoffs.

The playoffs, of course, because that is when the bandwagonism factor is at its highest. Plus, you don't have to take all the time actually following and cheering for your favorite team. It's just easier that way. Bill also subscribes to this theory with the NCAA Tournament, but it doesn't stop him from writing about it.

Their fans deserve better regardless how this season turns out. As I have said a million times, as soon as the Grinch sells the team, they have me back 365 days a year. And not a moment sooner.

But you came back last year. So when the Bruins go far in the playoffs, just remember we won't be seeing a column about it from Bill because "The Grinch" hasn't sold the team.

I guarantee we get a column or a podcast or two.

Q: Do you think the relationship between Rocky and Apollo could be considered the original bromance?-- Kevin McB, Oakland, N.J.

Bill starts listing bromances through the years and what they rank as.

Damon and Affleck (wealthiest)
Clooney and Pitt (most overrated)

Really? Shouldn't these be reversed? When was the last time Ben Affleck had a hit movie that he was featured in? Also, Clooney and Pitt are wealthier than Damon and Affleck. Better do an old switcheroo.

Big Papi and Manny (tie for "most underrated")

Whatever happened to these two guys? You don't hear much from them lately and I know one of them did not just sign the second largest one year contract in MLB. No one pays attention to these two guys. Did you know they won 2 World Series together?

How are these two guys underrated. How???????? I rate them perfectly as a great 3-4 combination over the past decade.

Q: My office is having a blood donation drive. All blood donors get two free tickets to an upcoming Clippers game. Do you think we should make clear to people that they DON'T have to actually go watch the Clips play? I would hate it if the Red Cross lost blood donors -- and innocent people died -- because they were threatened with going to see the Clippers.-- Mike Wilner, Los Angeles

SG: Ladies and gentlemen, one more time, your 2009 Los Angeles Clippers!

Bill should write for a mediocre late night show that makes it's headlines by using the host's incredibly unfunny girlfriend (ex-girlfriend?) in skits to infer she is fucking someone else and having those people she is fucking be famous. Can someone please make this happen?

I realize Bill Simmons was not writing on the show when they wrote that skit so all the Simmons historians please don't mention this to me in the comments.

Q: Can you think of the sports equivalent of the spouses of buddies whose Facebook friend-request you accepted who constantly update their status on the topic of taking care of their kids? Like "Jenn is watching her little ones nap" and "Sarah is playing 'Bob the Builder' with her kids! Yay!" As a 28-year-old unmarried man, it's not that I don't appreciate females or motherhood, it's just that I don't care. For the same reason that I don't update my status with "Kully just put on jock itch cream."-- Kully, Guangzhou, China

This is something I can get behind.

In 15 years, writing went from "reflecting on what happened and putting together some coherent thoughts" to "reflecting on what happened as quickly as possible" to "reflecting on what's happening as it's happening" to "here are my half-baked thoughts about absolutely anything and I'm not even going to attempt to entertain you," or as I like to call it, Twitter/Facebook Syndrome.

I can't say I disagree with Bill here. We all love Facebook, but I quit giving a crap what people were doing after I left college. I only cared what my two friends were doing in college because I wanted to see if they were available to go do something, like drink.

Your child is walking across the floor? Congratulations, human children are supposed to be able to walk on two legs at some point in their life. Your child has reached that point. As soon as your child is able to put together a coherent argument about why Antonio Smith being signed for 5 years $35 million does not suddenly make Tyler Brayton's 4.5 sacks at $1.8 million a bargain, please post that...and then I will care much more greatly about what you are doing.

Q: Why hasn't anyone come out with "Throw-forward" jerseys? Say your team absolutely sucks right now and you know there is no chance it is making the playoffs, wouldn't it lift your spirits to see a Ricky Rubio or Blake Griffin jersey?

Holy shit. This was a great idea by one of Bill's readers. I am not kidding.

Though I have heard Ricky Rubio is not getting out of his contract with his current team this year and even if he did some of the NBA scouts are souring on him a little bit. Souring a little based on his defense, if I remember correctly.

Although I absolutely would have bought a green Kevin Durant Celtics jersey during the 2006-07 season and probably tried to strangle myself with it after the 2007 lottery.

I am sure the Celtics defense would not have taken a big hit at all if Kevin Durant and his 195 pound frame was out there trying to guard small forwards on a team that is rededicating itself to defense. Seriously, Durant can get steals but he is not a good defender.

Q: I listened to your spot on Adam Carolla's new podcast, and for the first time ever you swore and it wasn't bleeped out. It was surreal, and I gotta say I'm developing a taste for it, Simmons. I'm afraid I won't be able to go back to the genteel Sports Guy. It's like your long-term girlfriend, who's really conservative in bed, gets really drunk one night and she unexpectedly turns into an animal. How can you go back? How?!-- Max R., Sydney

SG: Just wait until my book comes out! Lots of swears and even a few completely inappropriate topics handled without any diplomacy whatsoever

I just want to remind everyone that Bill Simmons is 38 years old and is a father of two children, yet he still insists on trying to stay relevant by being "cool" and talking about inappropriate topics so his target demographic (18-25 years old white males) will believe that he is just like them. He's like their older brother...their much older brother who needs to feel relevant. He seems to go out of his way to do it.

Bill writes about his "Kansas City Theory" next and I am not even going to touch this. I think it is simple bunk. I believe all these incidences of cities having two good sports teams at the same time were all coincidences much more than I believe a feeling of winning can pervade an entire city to where it affects other sports teams. Some cities have good runs, while others do not. I can list several if I need to, but suffice to say I think it is all coincidences...and I think we all noticed this before Bill thought of it, we just chalked it up to a coincidence instead of some magical attitude that somehow goes through a city. For some reason I think Bill thinks positive messages can invade a city and make the entire city start dancing in the streets and believing in themselves. His perfect city life is like "The Music Man" basically.

Q: You are unfairly killing an entire fan base with your refusal to call the (Team That Shall Not Be Named) by its name. In your attempt to make another state feel better (rightly deserved) you are coming across as a pompous jerk to another one. Can you please start calling our team by its proper name?-- John H., Tulsa, Okla.

SG: No way. It's like (TTSNBN) was a married couple and couldn't conceive a child on their own, so they went and stole another couple's kid (in this case, Seattle's) after proving in court that the kid was living in an aging house and deserved to live in a new one … but then, in the insult of insults, it turned out they lived in a house that was just as old and decrepit as the kid's old house.

My question for Bill is why was this acceptable when it happened to the city of Charlotte? He's all about Seattle getting screwed over but forgets Charlotte, where the Hornets were once just absolutely huge. In that situation the couple that got their child stolen and was given some fucked up looking kid that clearly had mental defects as a consolation prize, but the couple was not willing to take this in return for having their child stolen by a different couple (New Orleans-George Shinn) so they quit taking care of the new child. Charlotte may have an even bigger case because not only did their original child get taken away but then the child shared time with another family (OK City).

Out of Bill's analogy, not only did the city of Charlotte get their team stolen by New Orleans and Oklahoma City, but then the city of New Orleans got a hometown boy from 70 miles from Charlotte (Chris Paul) that turned the team around and they are stuck with shitty sloppy seconds of the Charlotte Bobcats. I am not surprised this has not registered on Bill's radar being who he is and what he always talks about, but a hometown and state favorite is leading the team in New Orleans back to the playoffs, while another supposed hometown favorite runs the Bobcats into the ground. If I think about it too much, it gets painful.

Q: I was just looking over previous mailbags and came across your prediction of Olivia Wilde becoming a bigger, more relevant star than Mischa Barton within five years. This is uncanny. I shall never doubt you! Any other bold predictions?-- Vinit, Winnipeg

Vinit, stupid name by the way, please don't encourage Bill to make more predictions. He has made hundreds of them. Just because you are so pathetically obsessed with Bill you can remember all his predictions doesn't mean he is always right. I called your name stupid because you encourage Bill and I am not sorry.

Q: I've written many times and I am pretty sure you have never looked at my e-mails. But in all seriousness, I like the podcasts even more than the columns. I was introduced to you five years ago when I entered college by my first roommate. Never listened to a podcast 'til my senior season. Now I love them because they drown out the voice of my wife.-- Charlie, Endicott, N.Y.

SG: That was the first installment of a new mailbag feature tentatively called "Fellas, Don't Get Married." I have high hopes for this one.

Bill is married though and he is making jokes about not getting married! How hilarious and I hope this is a mailbag feature. This is such fertile ground for comedy that I am not sure a comedian has covered this sufficiently over the years. Gosh, I can only think of 20 comedians who base their entire act on this and probably only 100 sitcoms based on the premise.

It never fails to irritate me when people who are married constantly make comments about how you should never get married. It's the passive-aggressive way of acting jumping into the stereotype of being a guy who got married and had kids, but didn't really want to. It's played out and the same guys who do this are the same guys who cried at their wedding while "Colour My World" by Chicago played.

Q: Wouldn't you say the Red Sox not getting A-Rod in 2003 was BY FAR the best non-trade of all time?-- Adam, Toronto

I warn you, it's going to be a Boston team that had the best non-trade of all time. You wouldn't have expected anything different would you?

SG: There's a bigger one: After Seattle picked Robert Swift in the 2004 draft, the Celtics offered the Sonics the 13th pick (basically, the rights to Al Jefferson) and their 2005 No. 1 pick for Swift's rights … and Seattle said no.

Told you. Bill really pays no attention to anything outside of Boston...and now Los Angeles.

Q: At what point does Sam Bowie hug Greg Oden and tell him it's not his fault over and over again?-- Andrew, Seattle

Here we go again.

By the way, Oden-Durant remains one of those rare stories that isn't getting enough attention -- not just the offensive leap that Durant made this season, but just how lousy Oden's "rookie" season has been compared to what our expectations were in 2007. Forget about his durability issues, his knee injury that cost him last season, even all his nagging little injuries this season. Just in the games that he has played -- and again, we're talking about 49 of a possible 125 -- he has been absolutely underwhelming compared to our original expectations.

Oden has played decently this year, not quite what everyone was expecting, but you can't just discount Oden's nagging little injuries this year because he IS 7 feet tall and knee injuries tend to have a greater effect on players who are that tall. I am not going to spend my time defending Greg Oden, because I still think he will play a key role for the Blazers down the road.

Can anyone see what the Blazer team would like look right now with Kevin Durant on it? As much time as Bill spends extolling the virtues of Kevin Durant and knocking Greg Oden, I don't think Durant fits in well with the Blazers team right now. Bill loves to compares Durant and Oden, while making it seem as if the Blazers made a mistake in taking Oden over Durant, but I think Al Horford would be a better fit for the Blazers than Durant. So I think even in hindsight, Durant would be with the Thunder and Horford would be a Blazer if they passed on Oden. The Blazers don't need a SF/SG type player, so I don't think they draft Durant.

Seriously, look at the Blazers roster and think about this. They don't need Durant, so Bill can quit comparing them, and he should start comparing Oden and Horford...but of course he is in love with Durant, so he won't do that.

Q: I just heard the horrible news that Kate Winslet will no longer be doing any nude scenes. This has got to be the movie equivalent of Jordan retiring, right? I'm holding out hope for a comeback like Jordan with the Bulls, but not a Wizards-era comeback for her -- that would just be nasty to see!-- Mike, Los Angeles

Mike, you and Peter King should start a Kate Winslet fan club. You may be the only members but I am sure Peter would love to talk to you about coffee and irritating travel facts if you got tired of talking about Kate Winslet.

Q: I'm a 30-year-old ex-college athlete who likes rare steaks and fake breasts. I just read your Dooze column and had to disappear into the bathroom at work so my co-workers would not see me crying. Damn you.-- Dave, Philadelphia

SG: As you can tell, we just entered the Yup Zone.

Oh...now Bill has named the end of his columns "the Yup Zone." I am getting sick to my stomach.

Q: Raise your hand if you went to Mardi Gras and nailed Kid Rock in the face with beads when the sexy chick he was with wasn't flashing and then got high fives from everyone who saw it happen. Yessir.-- Erik, Tallahassee, Fla.

Raise your hand if you are a complete and total liar. Kid Rock got in a fight at a Waffle House, he would have no problem either personally or allowing someone else to kick your ass all over the Louisiana soil. You would not be around to write this email, because if everyone saw you, then that means Kid Rock did too.

I bet Kid Rock did try to kick his ass and he just left that part out.

Q: We've all seen "Cast Away" and, of course, remember the emotional scene as Wilson the Volleyball floats away from Tom Hanks in the middle of the ocean. It's time to admit to ourselves those two were more than just friends. I mean come on … four years on an island together … no female or any other sexual outlet around. Hanks did the deed with the Volleyball and probably regularly.-- Carl F., Merrimack, N.H.

Carl, you get a zero on the comedy scale, a zero on the originality scale, a zero on the realistic scale, and a zero on the "how many friends you have" scale. This is just stupid.

SG: Yup, these are my readers.

And they want to be just like you.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey, good read. I agree with most of your points here, but disagree about Charlotte being the same situation as Seattle.

By the end of the Hornets run there, it was clear that the city did not want the team anymore. I know that was the general fault of the owner, but really, the Hornets leaving and Charlotte getting a new team/owner was the only possibility for that one.

Seattle fans were still behind the team, as much as any city is behind a shitty team. And the team was moved because they wouldn't pay for a new stadium.

Bengoodfella said...

Thanks for enjoying it. I appreciate that. Maybe Charlotte is not the same situation as Seattle but it was as shitty as was happened to Seattle. You are right that the city had let go prior to the team actually leaving and that was because George Shinn wanted to sexually harass anything with a pulse.

It was a slow process, and it is different than Seattle, but the Hornets were huge in Charlotte until it all fell apart. Shinn wanted a new stadium deal and the city did not agree to do that, so it was a little easier on the city.

I don't think it is any less shitty but the entire state has college basketball to watch. I think I probably miss having a pro basketball team more than most people in North Carolina.

Bengoodfella said...

Holy crap, I just read my comment after it posted and realized North Carolina does have a pro basketball team. I forgot about the Bobcats. I think that is pretty indicative of how people feel in regard to them.

Seattle got screwed by the league and the fans deserve better than that. I was just saying the Charlotte fans deserved better than to have an owner like George Shinn and the Bobcats are no replacement...especially since I just forgot about them.

Velocity DeWitt said...

I'm in Seattle and I actually like Simmons, but I think he's acting like a jackass about this. Teams move. Get over it.

Good article, BTW. I like the mix of dissection and the occasional "Actually, that's a pretty good line".

Bengoodfella said...

Thanks Monty, I actually did not hate this mailbag too much. There were actually some good ideas in there by his readers. I think he is being a little sensitive about Seattle moving. Sure the city of Seattle got screwed and everyone hates it, but there is not too much that can be done about it. Basketball is a business.

If I don't say so myself, I am proud of the argument I think can be made that Al Horford would fit in well with the Blazers, so they could have drafted him over Durant if they did not draft Oden. It would never have happened but I looked at the rosters and thought, "Bill is becoming right about Durant and Oden, not quite completely right but he is getting there, and I think Horford would still have been a good pick for the Blazers."

Granted, that never would have happened because the Blazers had to take Oden or Durant because of public opinion, but it was different and I liked that.

Jeremy Conlin said...

I think you're completely off-base with the Oden/Durant thing. The whole point of his argument is that Oden is injury-prone. And we knew this coming into the draft. Oden runs like he's 75 years old, and even when he's healthy, he isn't an effective player. He's all over the place. He commits too many fouls, he doesn't have any post moves, he gets in the way on high screens, and on top of that he's a big man with chronic injury problems.

And you'd really take Al Horford over Kevin Durant if you were the Blazers? You don't think Kevin Durant would be an upgrade over Nic Batum? They would play Blake, Roy, Durant, Aldridge, and Przybilla, and bring Sergio, Rudy, Batum, Outlaw, and Frye off the bench. That's a MUCH better team than what they have now. Durant is a better player than Oden is right now. They wouldn't have taken Horford because they already have Aldridge at that position. The reason why Horford is effective at center in Atlanta is because they have an elite shot blocker (Josh Smith) to protect him. Aldridge isn't an elite shot blocker. If you put Horford on any other team, he's playing power forward, not center. Power forward is his natural position. Also, Horford hasn't made the same leap that Durant has this year. Durant is legitimately a top-10 player in the league (at least the way he's been playing since January).

And let me give you some advice on your Simmons-bashing. If you don't like Simmons, that's fine. If you enjoy poking fun at him, power to you. We need people like you in society (even if I disagree with you. I'm a big Simmons fan). I'm just saying that there's a difference between a writer and a journalist. Simmons doesn't write to inform people, he writes to entertain people (and has admitted as much). I don't know Simmons, but I do know someone who has mutual friends with him, and has met him a few times. From everything I've heard, in real life, he acts pretty much the same way he writes. He's sarcastic, he's fairly immature, and he's a funny guy. He really isn't "going out of his way" to try to stay relevant (at least that's my opinion based on what I've heard about him).

At least that's my two cents.

Bengoodfella said...

I was just throwing that out there about Horford and Durant. I had never thought of that before so I wanted to bring it up. Even though Horford is a natural power forward, he has played center for his entire career (I guess you put Noah at PF at Florida) and he has been pretty effective. I realize Horford is undersized at the position, but he has been pretty successful so far at playing center. Of course Durant has made "the leap" this year, but the Blazers wouldn't know that when they drafted Horford. I just thought it was interesting to talk about if the Blazers had drafted Horford instead of Oden.

I think putting Joel P. on the bench strengthens the team also, and really I know Josh Smith and his 1.7 blocks per game have helped Horford but there is more that goes into Horford's success than just that. You disagree with me, that's cool. I still think it would be interesting to see the Blazers with Horford over Oden. Can't you pretend I am just trying to entertain you so that way whatever I say is excused?

I was not "bashing" Simmons, I was just pointing stuff out in his mailbag and discussing it. What's with "we need people like you in society?" Am I like an outcast for not swallowing all the "entertainment writing" stuff he wants me to? That is a common response anytime any site writes a negative critique of Simmons, that Simmons is an writer who entertains. Where is the line between writing and a journalist? Is an interview with an athlete crossing over that line? I just don't know where the line is, but all I ever hear is that Bill Simmons is NOT a journalist and is an entertainer who writes. That's fine and I accept that...I give my opinion on this site and get torn apart for it, I just don't get why everyone gets so defensive when I do the same to him.

I have liked some of the stuff that Simmons has written, the whole thing he does is old now in my opinion. If you disagree I don't think you are some bizarre person, just a fan of his who disagrees. I appreciate your feedback and really bashing Simmons is so overplayed now, I try not to do too much of it. I am not sure if I succeed though.

Thanks for reading this post and providing feedback. I don't know if you are this way, but the letters he gets are like dedications to Bill's excellence and are self referential. I almost feel like he does mailbags as more of an ego booster than to actually answer questions.

Jeremy Conlin said...

When I said "we need more people like you," I meant it in the sense that we need people to poke fun and point out the ridiculousness and inconsistencies of culture, society, and people, instead of just blankly agreeing with everything. I think, like you said, a lot of Simmons' fans are blind sheep who simply take everything he says as straight from the Mouth of God. I might be close to that, but there are a few things that Simmons comes up with that I definitely can't get behind (like his obvious Boston bias, as I am a hardcore Cleveland fan). So I give mad props to people like you, and Jon Stewart, or anyone else who goes out of their way to point out the ridiculous.

Not to beat a dead horse (or a live one for that matter), but I think Portland definitely could have predicted a Durant leap this year. Really, last year he was stuck in a crappy situation and playing out of position, and once he moved over to small forward, he started throwing up 30/8/5 games. Overall, Durant's ceiling (one of the top 25 players ever?) is much higher than Horford's (one of the top big men of his generation), and was really the only sure thing in that draft. I think the whole in your argument is that you're just assuming that Oden and Durant would be in a 1-for-1 swap, but if they had drafted Durant, they wouldn't have ended up trading the Carl Landry pick to Houston (I forgot to mention that in my previous comment). The entire identity of the team would change, and they'd be playing smallball and running around at 170 miles per hour and probably would have swung a LaFrentz deal to pick up one last big man this season. So you'd be looking at a starting 5 of Blake, Roy, Durant, Aldridge, and Pryzbilla, with a bench of Sergio, Rudy, Outlaw, Landry, and Possible Big Man X (a LaFrentz and Outlaw for Tyson Chandler trade wasn't completely out of the question two months ago).

Most of this comes back to the fact that I'm not sure Horford is that good. He's always played with a very good to great shot blocker (Noah at Florida, Josh Smith in Atlanta), and I'm not sure how effective he'd be without one. Also, his offensive game hasn't really developed at all in 2 years other than the natural development that an NBA player has in his 2nd and 3rd years. He doesn't have any real post moves, and he can't really create his own shot (where other big men like Aldridge or David West can). Furthermore, Aldridge and Horford not only play the same position, but the places on the floor that they operate on are about the same (high left post and right block). My opinion at least is that they would have a much tougher time co-existing on the floor at the same time than Aldridge and Oden do now (which isn't all that spectacular to begin with). If Portland had Durant, they could trot out Rudy, Roy, Durant, Outlaw, and Aldridge, run the high screen with Roy and Aldridge, and spread the floor with shooters. You also have 2 legitimate crunch-time scorers (Roy and Durant), and you're still playing at least passable defense, and still defending the rim well because of how well Durant and Outlaw block shots on weakside rotations.

This is way too long, so I'm going to stop typing now.

Bengoodfella said...

I understand what you meant by that. I can't believe you like him at all if you are a Cleveland fan. It seems like there would be a natural rivalry there you would have a hard time getting past. I don't think you are a SimmonsClone or anything, at least you seem to think for yourself. I know plenty others who do not.

I need to maybe get on the Durant bandwagon a little bit more because I don't see him as having that high of a ceiling, but it also may be because I aren't willing yet to see that. I brought up the Horford thing and was just throwing it out there when I wrote my post. I liked the way Horford played at Florida, even though I hated Florida, so I probably am a little higher on him than others. He has a lower ceiling than Durant, I will agree with that. I will also concede (ever so slightly) the point that he has had a shot blocker beside him, but I may not put as much stock in Josh Smith's shot blocking as others. I would like to see how effective he would be if he did not have a good shot blocker beside him as well, we may get to see that one day.

The only problem I see getting in the way is that Roy is a natural team leader and the guy the team will want to have the ball for the last shot and Durant is actually the better scorer so I could see conflict there. Of course how many times does a last second shot that needs to be taken occur? This is nitpicking. I can see your point, I guess I see a bit of a conflict with Roy and Durant that may not actually exist.